Stories: Who We Have Lost

Promises Kept

Story aboutJody Settle (2 of 2)

Over the years, Jody and I rescued nearly fifteen other cats and two dogs. I will always remember his gentleness with them. Among his favorites was a Russian Blue that Jody named Smokey. When we first met her at the shelter, Smokey reached her front paws up around his neck and buried her head against his chest. That sealed the deal. I look back and smile at the number of times I found Jody napping with Smokey wrapped in his arms. Another funny story comes to mind. Jody used an electric scooter that gave him the freedom to get outside and live independently. When our first dog got old and arthritic, Jody would lift her onto the platform of his scooter and drive her around the neighborhood, stopping now and then to let her step off and take care of business. The dog’s name was Daisy and all the neighbors kidded Jody about his version of “Driving Miss Daisy.”

In recent years, Jody’s MS worsened and he needed help with day-to-day activities. Because his vision was not so good, he enjoyed watching television. He was an aficionado of Star Trek in all its incarnations. He used to drive me crazy because he would recite the dialogue before it happened in the program. I was never a fan of Star Trek, but I find myself missing watching those shows with him.

2020 arrived along with COVID-19. We did everything to protect ourselves. We isolated at home. I only went out to buy groceries for the week, masked and gloved and physically distanced. It turns out that was not enough. By Easter, Jody had developed a high fever. I called 911 and the EMT’s explained that his lungs and blood oxygen levels were okay. When asked if he wanted to go to the hospital, he said no, he would be fine. But within three days, his breathing became labored and his blood oxygen levels dropped to a dangerous level. He had to go to the hospital. As the EMT’s loaded him into the ambulance, he waved to me and called out that he would be home soon. There was that determination again. He would walk again. He would be home soon. As the ambulance drove off, I wished I had that same confidence.

Just before Jody passed on April 19, 2020, I was allowed to go to the hospital to see him. I was lucky. He was in a coma but I believe he was waiting for me to come to say goodbye. He passed peacefully right after I left. That was his last act of love. For thirty-three years, I thought I was the one caring for him. But, in the end, it was Jody who looked out for me. When I think of him now, I see him running around with Quito and Smokey and Daisy and our other pets who have passed. He is definitely walking again. Promises kept.

My Dad Always Held Mom's Hand

Story aboutBlanca and Juan Rodriguez

My Dad and Mom were together since senior year. This year was their 49th anniversary. On Jan 26th, they both were picked up by 2 different ambulances, taken to 2 different hospital. Dad was intubated within a day, Mom on Feb 7th. On Feb 8 at 12:34, Covid took our mom, dad’s queen. Somehow he knew, and followed her at 4:13 am, a few hours later. Dad did not want a world without his reina. Days later, my siblings and I buried them together. Together forever. Miss you Mom and Dad. Till we meet again!

Take Care of Each Other

Story aboutDan Cruz, Irene Cruz, Keith Cruz (1 of 2)

When my mom, dad, and my brother Keith died, a part of me died too. It was an honor and privilege to be the daughter of Dan and Irene and the sister of Keith. My brother Kevin and I were blessed to be part of such a kind and loving family. Let me tell you about who we lost:

My mother, Irene Cruz, was my best friend. Whenever anything happened in my life – good or bad – my mom was the first person I wanted to speak to. We spoke every day and she always made time for me and said just the right thing. She had me when she was very young and she made a lot of sacrifices to give me a good life. She always wanted the best for me. Ever since I was a little girl, she encouraged me in everything I did. It was important to her to instill in me the idea that I could achieve anything I set my mind to.

My mother was caring and selfless, took care of everyone, and always put her family’s needs first. I used to say, “Mom, you should do more things for yourself,” but she wouldn’t hear any of it. She didn’t like anyone telling her what to do.

My mom was my rock. I am lost without her and my heart aches to talk to her. I learned so many things from her and I could not have asked for a better mother. If I needed anything, she and my dad would drop everything to come and bring me whatever they thought would be helpful.

They were married for 52 years and were extremely devoted to each other. When my father, Arthur “Dan” Cruz, was young, he would wash his car every day when Irene was walking home from school just to see her walk by. And when he fell in love with my mom, he chose to be my dad. “You will always be my girl,” he would tell me.

My father was fiercely protective of me and I cannot recall a time that he wasn’t there for me. When I went through a divorce, he postponed his retirement so that if I needed any help financially, he would be able to take care of me. He was my absolute hero, the smartest man I’ve ever known. He could fix anything, figure out anything. I was amazed by everything he could do. He was kind and big hearted. He loved animals and even at times when he did not have a dog in the house, he continued to buy dog biscuits and fill his pockets with treats, just in case he might run into a dog that day.

My parents loved their grandchildren just as much as their children. They truly lived their lives for their family and would do anything for us. Every important moment of my life included mom and dad.

Like my dad, my brother Keith had a very tender heart. When we were little, he wanted nothing more than to just hang out with me and my friends. He would even let us dress him up – just so he could stay and play with us. I was seven when he was born. Then when Keith was five, Kevin was born. They were always best buddies and Keith looked out for Kevin. As they grew older, they shared the same friends and they would all gather at my parent’s house. Our home was full of love and laughter.

Take Care of Each Other

Story aboutDan Cruz, Irene Cruz, Keith Cruz (2 of 2)

As a young adult, Keith would call and ask my advice on many things. He would take an hour to tell me a five minute story! He loved comic book collecting and sports. He was close to his nieces and nephews and I believe the greatest thing in his life was getting married and having children. His kids brought him great joy and he was incredibly proud of them. It breaks my heart to know that he will not get to see them grow up, graduate from school, get married, or one day even become a grandfather. But I know, with all of my heart, that he will be watching over them and his legacy will live on through them.

Although it is tragic that we lost mom, dad, and Keith within nine days of each other, it’s important that they be remembered for how they lived and not the way they died. My parents had a love like no other and loved my brother dearly. They would not have been able to be apart. One comfort I have is that they did not know each other had passed so they never had to go through that pain. God knew they could not be without each other and so brought them home together. My dad ALWAYS said “Take care of each other” to us kids. So now I want to tell my dad to take care of mom and Keith. Kevin and I will take care of each other and make them proud. We love you and miss you: now, forever, always. Rest in peace until we meet again. Take care of each other.

My Second Mom

Story aboutIrene Cruz

There are so many things I loved about my dear, sweet Irene and so many memories that I treasure. She was a constant figure in my childhood and a very special person throughout my life.

My family moved across the street from the Cruz family around 1970. One day, my mother attended a Tupperware party at a neighbor’s house and that’s when she met Irene. They became fast friends and that was the beginning of what would become a close bond between two families and a lot of shared history. Our families have since shared countless everyday moments, celebrations, tragedies, joys, and sorrows and everything in between. In those early days of the young families, there was only Irene’s daughter Kelly, and my older sister Lorrie, both very little at the time. Keith and I were born nine months apart. We grew up like siblings sharing car rides to and from school, summers playing outside, and all that comes with having mothers who were the best of friends. When Kevin was born, we had another member added to our family.

When I think of what it is that makes Irene so special to me, the thing that stands out the most is her dropping everything to be there when someone needed her. The way that she would offer comfort came so naturally and with such ease, where most others would be at a loss in the same circumstances. Her style of comfort, actually comforted, and gave the recipient a feeling of calm and trust, as well as an abundance of love. Perhaps my greatest experience of this was one morning when we were getting ready to leave for school. I was about 6 and my mother was still grieving over the death of my sister. She was having a particularly difficult morning and was so grief-stricken that it scared me. I ran across the street to Irene and when I walked in the house she greeted me in her usual sweet way. I tried to smile back but I burst into tears trying to explain incoherently about my mom. Irene, still in her nightgown, threw on her coat and ran across the street to my mom with Keith and I in tow. I remember her talking quietly to my mom and reassuring her that she would take us kids to school and be back for her. On the way to school, Irene assured me that she would stay with my mom all day and take good care of her. I don’t know what happened that day while I was at school but I remember Irene picking me up and bringing Keith and I to my house. Irene assured me that my mom was okay and she was resting. I remember her reading T’was The Night Before Christmas to me and Keith and I remember feeling very safe and glad that she was there with us. Safe. That was the best feeling in the world to me at that moment. She was my mom when my mom couldn’t be and I knew that when she was around everything would be alright. That book has always been a favorite of mine since then.

I could go on for days with memories like these. This is why I’ve always referred to Irene as my second mom. For years I thought that I had the privilege of being the only kid lucky enough to have Irene as that person in my life. When I got much older I would stumble upon stories posted on Irene’s Facebook page from friends of her kids referring to her and Danny in much the same way. I realized then that it wasn’t just me. Irene and the Cruz family have always had a very special gift. It is the gift to give of themselves so freely, so unselfishly, so generously, without judgement, without hesitation, to care for others and make them family. Their children have all followed in their footsteps and continued this family legacy of being kind, generous, loving people. For these reasons, I have a great love and devotion to Irene, Danny, and the entire Cruz family. Irene was my mother’s closest, most dear friend. Definitely her BFF but more like a sister. She was my second mom, and she will ALWAYS hold a very special place in my heart.

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