In the next few days, on October 22nd, it will be my big brother’s birthday. He would have celebrated his 70th. But instead, we continue to mourn his passing. It would have been a simple celebration. My brother was not the kind to want big celebrations. Just being with his family was celebration enough.

This weekend my family and I will be gathering to celebrate the October birthdays (there are four) and will also celebrate my big brother’s 70th. I hope he will hear us singing to him as he many times, sang to us.

Happy birthday in heaven, my brother.

When I think about four years ago, April 2020, I lost my husband to Covid. I lost my job, the one I loved, I lost my husband’s social security and I was too young at the time to collect. However my bills and mortgage still came. I couldn’t get in touch with anyone from the NYC pension office. So, for four months, no money came in. I was alone. No one came because of Covid. I did survive, like so many of us. But it still bothers me when people say you are strong. I say I am resilient because I had no choice.

Here is to all us survivors who managed to come out of the tsunami …

Me and Stephani were looking up at the night sky. After a few minutes there was a shooting star right where we were looking. We both said “thank you Donovan.”

I miss you so much …

As I look up to the sky, I tell you I bought a house.

I wake up each morning and for a second everything is okay till I realize you are gone.

I want to talk about you all the time but when I start to I just freeze. I am scared of my emotions.

This is your third Angel Anniversary, I still can’t believe it. Covid took you and it’s still so unbelievable. Missing you Donovan, so much. I love you.

The current political climate and its continued denialism and obfuscation of the pandemic sets my brain on fire. Here’s our truth: Our father died alone on an iPad (being held by a kind nurse wearing a space suit) and that image is seared into my memory forever. Don’t tell me this is irrelevant. More of us must speak out. This must not be swept under the universe’s rug.