Today was the Who We Lost book launch and reading event in New York City. I wanted to read about Bobby and Mom but could not take the trip. Instead, I tuned into FB Live from Citrus Springs, Florida and watched others read stories about their loved ones who were taken by Covid.

Many of the authors have become my friends over the past few years. It was nice to see the faces of Martha, Ed, Kim, Mary, David, Marlene, Rima, Pamela, and all the others. Because of them, I know their loved ones. I never met Jody, Robert, Johnny, Rami, or Martin, but I know them.

David read on behalf of Marlene and himself. Marlene and I both know the pain of losing a brother. I imagine taking the stage was too difficult for her today. Rima knows the same pain because she lost her brother Rami. I felt Rima’s sadness as she tried to stop herself from crying. Every tear signified her love for Rami.

Losing a brother is more painful than I could have ever imagined. I never thought about life without one of my brothers. I hate life without Bobby. I hate that he was stolen by the virus. I hate that he died on the floor alone. I hate that such a kind man was taken in the cruelest of ways. He didn’t deserve to go out like that.

I hate trying to exist knowing Bobby is not here and he isn’t coming back. Rima and Marlene must be feeling the same. Rima works tirelessly to honor all loved ones lost to Covid. Marlene makes time to advocate in between caring for her elderly mom and taking care of her sweet granddaughter, Amanda. I suppose that is what we do now. We work hard to make sure the world knows our brothers and how special they were. We memorialize them, we advocate, and we honor them by carrying on their spirits of kindness. We do anything to distract ourselves from feeling each moment that comes with the unbearable pain of losing our brothers.

Today was “The Who We Lost” book launch and reading in Astoria, Queens. All the poignant and heartbreaking stories of collective Covid losses helped to advance our inner healings. Our readings were carried out in a safe, supportive and compassionate environment among others who understand the pain of grief. Much gratitude to Martha for bringing us all together and to all the writers for their courage in sharing their stories.

That day.
That horrible day.
That excruciatingly painful day.
That never can be forgotten day.
That never wanted to happen day.
That never imagined day.
That last goodbye day.
That grief came to live with me day.
That mourning is obvious day.
That it wasn’t just a cold or the flu day.
That day when the unimaginable decision was left to us to release you from your suffering.

Yet it was …

That I love you beyond life day.
That I will carry your love with me forever day.
That I will always honor your memory day.
That you will never be forgotten day.
That we have lived out, lived through and fulfilled our vows of love and commitment to each other day.
That thank you for inviting me into your life
and sharing that life with me day.

And …
That our souls, our spirits, our energies and our love will find each other again in some other way, in some other place, in some other world, in another dimension day.
That “love is eternal”day.

That “I want to be brave just like you” day.
You can go now … and you did.

Nettie Harris was born in 1934 in the South Carolina and her mother and father passed away during her teenage years. Nettie relocated to Washington, DC and was raised by her Aunt Lottie. Nettie relocated when she was in her 20s to the Big Apple–she always wanted to be in New York City and work in a hospital and also open her own fashion boutique.

Nettie was a fashionista and loved shoes and clothes. She was labeled the best dresser always because was tall and thin and gorgeous just like a supermodel. Nettie was a True Diva. Nettie married in 1961 and had one daughter named Laurie in 1963. Nettie was hired in 1970 at Hillcrest Hospital as an EKG technician in the early 70’s and she later relocated to work on the labor & delivery unit until July 2000 when Nettie retired at age 66.

Nettie opened her dream boutique and sold upscale clothing. Nettie’s husband preceded her in death and Nettie traveled the world, spoiled her 7 grandchildren and was always her daughter’s Bestie. When COVID 19 hit New York City with a vengeance Nettie left her home to live with her daughter and grandchildren. Covid had Nettie confined at home as well as her family and Nettie decided to go home one day alone. Unfortunately Nettie fell while at home alone and broke her hip and she had to have emergency surgery. Nettie’s daughter was hesitant and against her mom having to be hospitalized but she knew her mom needed surgery. Nettie’s surgery was successful and Nettie awaited a transfer to a rehabilitation facility for her physical therapy and unfortunately another patient in Nettie’s room had Covid and gave it to Nettie.

Nettie was exposed on 8/24/21 and went on to be with her Lord and Savior on 9/10/21. Nettie lived a beautiful rewarding life as a mother, a grandmother who spoiled all of her grandchildren and helping patients for 30 years and becoming an entrepreneur and traveling the world with her coworkers and her only child Laurie and her grandchildren. Nettie would be 89 years young on this July 29th. Nettie’s memory will continue to be lived on through her daughter Laurie and Nettie’s 7 grandchildren. Nettie’s new job–an Angel watching over her daughter and grandbabies.

She was such a lovely soul. She had awful dementia and couldn’t remember much more than her own name but she was always willing to see the joy in anything. I convinced her on her birthday, only two weeks before she died, that she was turning 21. I gifted her red nail polish and lipstick and for the last time I got to laugh with her.