Mom washed my hair in the kitchen sink when I was a little girl. She used Avon shampoo and it smelled so good. Then she convinced me to sit outside to let the sun dry it.
Looking back, I am fairly sure she wanted a break from me. She had 6 kids and probably looked for any opportunity to get a few minutes of peace.

Shortly before I joined the family Candace (at the time my wife to be) and I traveled to meet the family and “Ruby” and get acquainted. After several hours of getting to know everyone at a picnic in the park Candace asked what Ruby thought of me and her response was priceless but on point for her:

“He’s short, but at least he ain’t a Hoosier”

That acknowledgment told me everything. She was a straight shooter who would speak her mind and not be shy about it.

You will be missed and your memory will live on, “Hotrod Granny” —

We were running and playing chase or tag, I almost got him but he was too fast. We were running between our house and our next door neighbors. Our house still had the tree in front — I stopped but he kept going into the street towards the corner house.

Donovan was almost like a toddler. Then, he was 10 years old, he ran back towards our house chasing two small dog — one of them was Carlos. The dogs ran up to our house then Donovan ran back towards the corner house to chase his kindergarten principal. The principal ran towards their backyard and Donovan went through the house to the back yard and I saw Donovan through the gate door that was open and he leaned towards the principal, who I couldn’t see but was behind the wall, like he was saying ‘caught you’ then he stood there and looked at me from across the street.

He had a smile/smirk on his face. He was an adult. I saw him from far away then it was like I got a close up of his face but I was still standing by our house by the tree. He was wearing a long sleeve white shirt and tan pants. He wasn’t breathing hard after all that running. His hair was medium length and kinda messy.

Then the phone rang and woke me up. I laid there and it didn’t come to me right away who it was but then I closed my eyes and saw Donovan’s face again and knew it was him. He was showing me that he is ok and the look on his face said he loves me. There was no sound in my dream — just the feeling of fun, playing with him. The tree and grass had color but everything else was the color of the painting of me and Donovan that is in the living room (creams & gray).

Please come back to me.

After a year and a half, I saw my friend. The friend who almost didn’t make it to the hospital. Somehow, we didn’t lose you that day.

I hugged you so tightly, I think I hurt you a bit. “We made it!” sobbing with gratitude.

And as you drove away, I got the word: my other friend didn’t. The joy boiled over into grief. I did what you would have done: loved everyone a little harder that day.

Before you left, you had a trial run. You came back to let us know where you were going, that it was with us. All three of us out at the lake. Just fishing. Not a care in the world. No scrambling for meds to patch together what COVID tore apart. And without that, I would forever ask myself why I didn’t do more.

But now, you’re waiting. Whole and perfect, kind and empathetic. And we will fight even harder so your story isn’t repeated.

I’ll cry every day though …