Last night I was on my Covid Connections for Change group meeting. It has been close to two years that I have been on the weekly calls on a Thursday at 8:30 p.m. I have met such wonderful caring people who have been in the same boat as myself, dealing with our loss from losing someone to Covid. I lost Mike, my husband of 38 years, two years ago. He was 66. This year would have been 40 years of marriage (a milestone for many considering divorce is now 50%).

And now, I feel as though my trauma, and our collective trauma, is once again magnified, over and over again, because of this resurgence of Covid in New Jersey and elsewhere, and the fact that most people just don’t care anymore. People have been vaccinated, boosted and/or are still getting covid but not dying, and then they say, it is like getting your worst cold.

People forget that getting Covid is the worst trigger for me, because I think if only Mike could have gotten a vaccine he would still be here and I wouldn’t be in this much pain. When I hear that over 1 million Americans have died from Covid, I just can’t understand how this is still happening now. Why don’t people get the booster? I don’t want anyone else to feel such loneliness and pain as I am feeling two years out. Their lives, our lives, are changed forever. Guess I am rambling, but I just needed to vent my sadness. We all should.

My heart misses you, my hands miss your touch, my ears miss your voice as you would lay next to me and say this is the best part of my day.

Forever your two can, Lori Ann xoxoxo

My father always said he could fix anything but a broken heart. Linda would reply “That is ok, I can sew it.”

He was a mechanic & she a seamstress. They died 3 weeks apart & nobody was there to fix my heart.

When our elderly cat Silver died in 2017, my husband Tony and I struggled emotionally. Our children were grown and our grandchildren were on the other side of the US. Within 6 weeks we had adopted a kitten. Well, Tony adopted him, I was just there for the ride. The kitten had a great deal of energy and Tony named him Sparky.

Thus began a great friendship between these two males. I sometimes felt left out but was glad they had each other. Because of where we live, Sparky had to stay indoors. I was still working but Tony was retired, so they spent a lot of time together.

Tony had heart disease and ended up in the hospital in November 2018 and January 2020. Each time he went away for about 8 days, causing Sparky great concern. The pandemic sent me home to work in 2020, just in time to be there as Tony recuperated. Sparky got used to me being home all the time, but he was still Dad’s cat.

Tony ended up in the hospital a final time in August 2021. Sparky knew the pattern and expected Dad home after 8 days. Only this time he didn’t come home because he caught Covid in the hospital. Sparky kept a vigil, night after night, waiting for Dad to come home, but he never did. 3-1/2 weeks after going in the hospital Sparky and I lost him. It took Sparky three months of keeping a vigil before he reluctantly realized his Dad wasn’t coming home.

Sparky is now my cat, a wonderful gift from my husband. Sparky is still full of energy and a true joy to have around. Tony and I share children and grandchildren, but we also share this amazing and remarkable animal who reminds me every that I am not alone, and that Tony is still with me in a way.

Donovan made me a mom.

His sister was born on his birthday, three years apart. A built-in best friend. They were great together. Donovan was the best big brother.

Forever 31.