My mother was a shopaholic. Sometimes I felt like she loved shopping more than family. She would give more space to those things in the house than us. But she was definitely good at it.

The last shopping trip I accompanied her on was to buy some necessities for myself and at the same time I bought her some clothes out of my own pocket which she blushed about so much, but wouldn’t show it on her face, because of the way she was. Instead she would keep that awkward shy face and told dad to give me my money back as she thought I will need it.

That day, while I was walking by the road, at the corner I stopped at a watch repairing place to buy a new battery for my old watch. I had used it for a very long time as it was so comfortable. She saw me changing that battery and still wearing that worn-out leather strap. She asked me if I wanted to change the strap with a new one which I refused.

A few months after that, I lost her due to COVID in May 2021 in the worst way I could have imagined. I regretted many things about the way she passed away. Some days after her leaving, my sister told me that my mother had bought a watch and kept it to give me when I visited her. When I opened it, I saw the same orange-brown shade of leather strap which was on the watch the day I changed the battery. She remembered the color which I liked and bought it though I didn’t ask.

I am moved by what she did, which she always did. SHE IS ALWAYS AHEAD IN KNOWING WHAT I NEED AND PROVIDING FOR ME WITHOUT BEING ASKED. SHE LOVES MADLY, REALLY MADLY. SHE PUT ME BEFORE HER NEEDS LIKE AN IDIOT. She is a fool in love.

I miss her and I still can’t believe she is no more to call me and say the only two things she knew to remind me of: “Did you take calcium tablet? Are you drinking grape juice?” which she believed would give me strength and health. I hope I loved her back enough.