While so many adoptees never manage to find their mothers, or finally find them after they are deceased, I was truly blessed to have found you when I did and it was not easy either, due to sealed records. While it was great to finally meet you and meet my half-siblings too, it was always bittersweet–I saw all you lost in your life, your plans and dreams, because you unexpectedly got pregnant with me, and Roe V Wade would not be decided for another 23 years. You were cheated out of “choice,” autonomy, self-determination, completing your degree at U of L and basically punished and had to live with the aftermath and consequences for the rest of your very long life.

I only lost you this year in 2022 at age 93 ! You outlived your husband of 60 years, your two children, your grand-daughter too, all your neighbors and friends, and by the time you died, there was really no one left to mourn you, except me.

Today is Mother’s Day and yesterday was the Kentucky Derby which was always such a big celebration for you. This is the first Mother’s Day without you and I did not really think I would be feeling this loss today but I do. I appreciate all your sacrifice, not that you had a choice in the matter — your parents decided everything for you and you were forced to submit. I am so glad you did not live to see the loss of Roe V Wade. I know when it passed you were so happy for me, your children’s generation. I know how happy that decision in 1973 made you because you knew your two daughters would not be forced to endure what you had to back in 1950. I am just glad I chose never to have kids — that is my great consolation in life– no child of mine will ever die in a war, ever die in childbirth, ever be subjected to incest and rape, and then be forced to suffer even more. Happy Mother’s Day Mom — May you finally find peace; you truly earned it.