I lost both of my parents to Covid and they have left a void in my life that has yet to heal. With their deaths I was left feeling so alone, like I had no one else in life. One of the things we used to like to do was go out to eat every Saturday after I got out of work because my mom was tired of cooking all week long and wanted to take a break during the weekends, and this is something that I will miss forever.

The weekends were the only days that I truly got to spend with both of them since we worked opposite time schedules, them in the morning and I during the night. We got to catch up and talk about how our week went and how work went. Just the three of us. I miss those Saturdays where I got to see them walking towards me to greet me, or seeing them walk side by side on the sidewalk. One of the things I miss about my dad is that if I forgot my house keys he would open the door and say “Mami” and give me a kiss.

When I forgot my keys for the first time after he died I felt such a deep sadness because I realized he was never going to open the door for me ever again or be able to hear his joy when I got home after work. As for my mom I just miss everything about her. She was truly my best friend. I miss her laugh, I miss seeing her smile and seeing the gap she had because her two front teeth were missing. I miss giving her a kiss–she and I would share a peck on the lips even though I was all grown up. I really truly miss the smell of her shampoo on her pillow. I was and am sad that I can’t smell her shampoo anymore.

Those are just a few things about that I miss about them. There are so many more things that I could mention but it would be a long list. I am sad that they didn’t get to meet their grandchildren. Their first grandchild arrived one month after my father died, and one month before my mother died. I believe my mom waited until her grandson was born before leaving us. As for a memory that I will never be able to forget was hearing my grandmother, my mom’s mom, cry and wail after I told her that her oldest daughter had died. Hearing her say “my little dove fly high” truly broke my heart. I know that my parents are in a better place, a place without suffering but it wasn’t their time to leave. Their time was cut short and they had so much more life to live.