Then there is the other world of memories. World #2.

The world where, unfathomly in 2019, four years ago would end up unknowingly be our last Father’s Day together.

We were so close to having that NOT happen. So close to having just one more Father’s Day together. Even if it was only on Zoom. That’s ok, I’d take it.

But that was not to be. You passed away just 14 days before Father’s Day 2020. We hadn’t even had your non-funeral, burial yet. Didn’t seem real then, still doesn’t seem real now. F*** Covid!

I literally just now realized something. Not only was this our last Father’s Day together in 2019. This was also our first Father’s Day together without Mom. How unfair! Still cannot believe it. It’s just too much to comprehend. Again, F*** Covid!

If only I had known this would have been the last. If only there was some sign. The thought of this day brings immeasurable sadness. What I wouldn’t give – if only, I could go back. PLEASE. If only…just one more time.