My father always loved the Macy’s Thanksgiving parade and now I have tears in my eyes every year when it starts. He’d wander through the kitchen taking small bites of food to “help check” how things were going but stayed away from the cooking because he burnt everything he touched.

We grew up very poor but every year the holidays were a huge blowout because he’d saved a little from each paycheck to be certain we had a big Christmas morning, even though it meant giving up things he needed during the year. Every year I’d search for the best dad gift — he had a great sense of humor so I worked hard to find a funny one.

Now I walk through the stores and see the “perfect dad gift” and realize I don’t have anyone to give it to. My holiday spirit is gone now, I have to keep up the traditions and put on a happy face but all I want is for the holidays to be over and done without him.