When I think of 10+ million people who knew someone lost to the pandemic, and that count was just for someone close within a family—that huge number was not even including co-workers, neighbors, and more—and if you can add to that the number of lives still being impacted by parents or caregivers trying to function while being debilitated by long COVID, there are just SO MANY American lives that will never be the same. How can our nation just “forget” our lost loved ones and those of us left behind as bereaved or long COVID sufferers to pick up the pieces of our lives?

Traditional rituals are very important and being able to experience the community’s love and support for the grievers would help them heal. I felt so horrible not getting to have a normal funeral (actually no funeral at all) for my beloved husband, and knowing he died in the ICU unconscious on a ventilator leading to my horrendously difficult decision to remove his life support. A few weeks earlier, he was doing construction, working hard outdoors on our property and was very healthy and happy.

There are so many I know who experienced much worse—especially early in the pandemic when they could not see their loved ones at all or were hospitalized themselves while their loved one lay dying in another room.

Having people ask those questions—the “where to place the blame” questions—and callously disputing that COVID is even a real disease or saying that the hospitals just “said” it was COVID so they could “get more money” has been so painful and demoralizing on top of the trauma and grief.

Thank you, Professor Wagner, for what you said, for understanding, and for continuing this important work with Rituals in the Making.