Stories: Who We Have Lost
Dad's 80th Birthday — his letters remembered
Who did you lose to Covid 19? Alan Trobe
A little more than eighteen years ago, my dad sat down and started writing eleven cards. One card was mailed every day in succession. As I opened each one, I found details about my parent’s trip, notes about my brothers, and various wishes for a Happy Birthday.
Each card began with “Hi Doll”, “Dear Daughter”, “Dearest Daughter” or “Dear Daughter Dawn”. They started with just a quick, short note but each one progressed with more thought and meaning. This was unusual for Dad. He wasn’t someone who wrote letters or spoke a lot about how he felt. He told you he loved you; you knew he loved you, but he didn’t get … mushy? All of the cards finished with “Love & Kisses, Dad”.
Each Happy Birthday wish had a special heartfelt message. They started small and then …
“Just wanted to give you an early Happy Birthday'”
“Let’s see, are we close to your birthday? At the time of this writing, only two more days. Forty-two years ago, you wouldn’t believe what was going on. It was well worth it!”
“You have always soared high in life, trying to improve life in general everywhere. You are a great person and a wonderful daughter. I hope you stay the same for the rest of your life!”
I’ll share the next two in a bit, as they are very special to me.
“I hope you are not getting tired of these cards. There are a few more. The date above is the date they were written and dropped in a mailbox.”
“Happy Mother’s Day. I hope it was a good one for you because you deserve it. Not many moms have done what you have. Be happy and proud!”
“Are you getting tired of my little letters? Seems like we don’t see much of you guys any more, but all are in our thoughts. Our love is just as strong anyway!”
“This old man still loves you, but this is very difficult. To write every day. I have a very small brain. I don’t know how you did all your cards to me and grandma, besides working full time. I may have to slack off a bit.”
The following two notes were written on my birthday and the day after. These two leave me without words.
“On this day 42 years ago, a very happy occasion for your parents. It was also a stressful time for us, because the doctors didn’t give us a good deal of hope for your survival. By the grace of God, you came through for us. Thank you for not giving up. We will always love you. Happy Birthday and many more. All the happiness you deserve, will come. I am sure of that.”
Dad is talking about when I was born, two months premature and weighing only 3lbs 2 oz and dropping to 2lbs 6 oz before leaving the hospital after two months in an incubator.
“One day after your birthday and I still love you. Isn’t that something? As long as I breathe, I will love you. I hope you take life as it is and try to enjoy each and every day for the good things that happen and don’t let something that happens unhappy or uneasy to you, spoil your day! Am I rambling? Well, you will figure it out.”
I’m trying Daddy. It’s hard, but I’m trying.
These cards were rediscovered in the spring of 2021 after dad passed away in January. I was looking for dad’s handwriting to incorporate into a tattoo. The tattoo design is of a dragonfly with mom’s handwriting saying, ” Love you” and dad’s saying, “Love you more”. It is said that dragonflies can travel between heaven and earth.
Along with those cards, I found another from two years later. Again, for my birthday.
“Dearest Daughter,
As you know, I have always loved you more! I will continue to until my last breath! Which will be in about 50 years or so. Don’t you wish? 44 years old and counting. In six years, you may join AARP. What a babbling fool I am. Well, love you more and always.
Daddy
xoxoxo”
Yes, Daddy, I do wish.
Happy Birthday.
I love you most.
Soaring on the wings of a dragonfly.