As I approach the third anniversary of my brother’s passing from COVID-19, I find it’s time to share another story about him—one more chapter to be recorded at Who We Lost.

Georgie died on February 16, 2022. He was my baby brother, nearly eleven years younger than me, and from the moment he was born, he was a force—a presence you couldn’t ignore. Doted on by his mother, grandmother, and two sisters, he was the center of our world. My father, though not one to dote, was proud to have a son and let Georgie get away with just about anything.

After my father passed away, our mother, Vee Vee, began splitting her time between her own home in Florida and her three children here in Rhode Island. As she aged and needed more care, she spent most of the week with Georgie and stayed with my sister or me on weekends. Georgie had been divorced for many years so he loved having someone in the house with him. He owned and ran three businesses, including Frenchy’s Popcorn which had originally been established in 1956 by my parents. He had a lot to say about all this and my mother was his audience and sidekick. She was a willing companion on business errands and dinners out. He would cajole her to work at Frenchy’s Popcorn even into her early 80’s.

At one point, Georgie expanded his business, adding an ice cream shop. He hosted a ’50s night on Thursdays, complete with a DJ and classic tunes, and he insisted that Vee Vee come along. And so, she did—holding court in the crowd and becoming somewhat of a celebrity guest.

Then, in late January 2022, everything changed. Georgie was hospitalized on January 29. I rushed from work to his house to get our mother and bring her to my home. By then, her memory was failing, and she asked me—constantly —what was happening. At first, despite how sick he was, we could still FaceTime with him but the noise of the BiPAP machine made it hard to talk. Then he worsened. ICU. Intubation. A devastating cascade of multi-system failure.

The unthinkable happened.

Despite my prayers, despite my desperate pleas to God not to take him, I watched my baby brother take his last breath—on Zoom.

And then I had to tell our mother.

She refused to attend his funeral. She has never wanted to visit his grave. And even now, in the assisted living facility where she resides, our conversations always return to the same haunting questions and in the same exact order:

“Did Georgie die?”
“When?”
“What happened?”
What about the Frenchy’s trailer?

Some days, I can answer without breaking down. On other days, the weight of it is too much. A few weeks ago, she asked differently—Why isn’t Georgie visiting me? That hit hard. Her room is filled with photos of Georgie. In my favorite, he is five years old—so cute. I look at it and think, how could this little boy be gone?

I wish, more than anything, that he were still here.

My conversations with my mother always end the same way. Vee Vee smiles and says, “Oh, he was so much fun.”

And she is right. Georgie could make anyone laugh.

I still enjoy my life, the family I have left, my job, and my art but there is not much joy anymore. There’s not much silliness or fun without Georgie and I miss that most of all.

My brother Johnny loved jazz and Louis Armstrong so it was so great that my husband and I recently got to see “A Wonderful World” on Broadway. The show was about the life of the greatest jazz musician who ever lived. I felt Johnny’s presence with me during the show. Armstrong had an optimistic belief that love can transform the world. He believed that a better world is within reach if we choose kindness and compassion. Johnny had the same belief system and was a very kind and caring soul who I miss every day.

Previously and currently we are all called not only to examine our governmental policies, but our own lives and how we can live for the common good of all our citizens. We need it now more than ever with the chaos and spiritual poverty around us. I miss Johnny’s love, support, and understanding .

Emily’s mystery-in-progress was inspired by her years walking dogs in Brooklyn Heights. Professional dog walkers had keys to their clients’ tony apartments, and the novel opened up with the murder of an Irish setter’s elderly owner. Emily constructed a world within a world of Brooklyn yuppies, irregular dog chips that stored nefarious information, mysterious paintings, and what she loved most, dogs.

I’ll never know how she intended her story to end. But catching Covid in the hospital and dying from it wasn’t it.

Music and Movies. That was always our thing. Pop fostered my love of the arts without me even realizing it. He always said I was an old soul. I was just 6 years old when I fell in love with music by “Fleetwood Mac”, “Journey”, “ELO”, “Styx”, “Bee Gees” and “Styx”.

I remember being in his old, red Ford pickup truck, with my pink jelly sandals on and Rainbow Brite dress, with him singing along to Journey’s “Oh Sherrie”, the beautiful smile on his face as he sang it horribly on purpose, the sound of his chuckle, the way his hands looked as he turned the volume up.

As I got older to my teen years, is when I discovered Tracy Chapman’s “Give Me One Reason,” Spice Girls “Wannabe,” and Aqua’s “Barbie Girl”. I think I played those so many times he really wanted to introduce me to other artists, and he succeeded.

I was 15 years old when I discovered I loved country music as well. During this time, Pop and I really delved into not only listening to songs, but discussing their meanings and how they must have felt when they were writing the song.

I have 3 favorite country songs that I hold close to my heart because of my Dad. The first song is the first country song he played for me, “Everywhere” by Tim McGraw. I still remember the grin on his face, as the sun beamed down on him through his truck window as he turned up the song and began singing the lyrics. His favorite part was “down in Georgia, picking’ them peaches” and “in my heart I’ll always see you everywhere”. Now that he’s gone, I keep that song close to me because in my heart, I will always see Pop everywhere.

The second song is “How Do You Like Me Now?” by Toby Keith. He loved telling me the story about this song, how it was based on a true story and we loved watching the music video for it. This became one of our most favorite songs, we listened to it a million times on the way to school in the morning.

Then there was the country song he loved to annoy me with which was “Before He Cheats” by Carrie Underwood. Funny enough, Pop drove the exact same color red, Dodge pickup truck featured in this video. This song used to drive me bonkers. Now, I’m thankful for all the laughs and memories it gave me with my Dad. I’ll never forget all the songs we shared and laughed about together.

Now, let’s talk movies. One of my all time favorite movies we used to watch all the time was “Grease 2”, I made him watch it so many times when I was little that we could still recite the songs as I grew up! He also introduced me to “The Rocky Horror Picture Show” when I was in high school. Our favorite song to sing was “Dammit Janet” and “Time Warp”. He even took me to the Alabama Theatre to see it on the big screen which was so much fun. Pop gave me the world. He changed my life when he introduced me to music and movies. He fostered my love of painting, he encouraged me in everything I did and gave me some of the best memories while we listened to music, in his truck, on the way to school. For all you movie whizzes out there, Pop always told my then boyfriend, now husband “Nobody Puts Baby in the Corner” as he firmly shook his hand before we left to go out on our date. You guessed it, that’s from “Dirty Dancing”, yes that movie will always be phenomenal to me!

Pop loved Johnny Cash, Aerosmith, CCR, Highwayman. If I had to describe how much Pop loved me by picking lyrics from our songs, it would be “Hey Brother” by Avicii. The lyrics “if the sky comes falling down, for you, there’s nothing in this world I wouldn’t do, oh sister I will help you out”. Next, would be “Butterfly Kisses” by Bob Carlisle. “There’s two things I know for sure, she was sent here from Heaven and she’s Daddy’s little girl”. I’m thankful I got to dance with Pop to this song at my wedding. In the photos, my sweet husband has tears in his eyes as he watches Pop and I dance. We too, had tears in our eyes. I loved every single second of that moment.

For awhile after Pop died, I avoided music and movies like the plague because I was trying to avoid feeling the hurt, remembering all the memories we shared. But not now–now I listen to those songs, I watch those movies, and every time, I look up to heaven and proudly say “this One’s for You, Pop.”

Every parent yearns to find the perfect gift for their child, whether it’s for the holidays, birthday, or any ordinary day for that matter. Growing up as a 90s kid, one of the most iconic movies that came out was “The Rugrats Movie.” I wanted a Rugrats watch from Burger King so badly, pleading for it relentlessly. If there was something I wanted, my dad went to great lengths to get it, even if it meant driving to several Burger Kings and searching for it after a 12-hour work day, he stopped one last time and tiredly said, “I need the watch for my daughter” and they were happy to help him with my favorite watch.

It’s still a special memory, aside from loving my gift, I know how much effort he put into everything to make me happy. This has also become a phrase we jokingly say all the time, and I know he’s laughing right now.