Three years ago today, I was visiting my daughter in London. It would be the last time I would see her for over a year as the world in two short months would shut down. The first case hit the west coast and then Canada and then New York City. Still, at this time, I never expected to have my world turned upside down and lose my husband of 38 years. He was only 66. So many of us never expected that by April so many would be gone …

My mom was always the first to call me at midnight on my birthday. Since her passing in 2020, my birthday hasn’t been the same. I am sad and keep isolated.

This year, for some reason, I felt different and did what mom would want me to do … I celebrated my 60 years with my children, grandchildren and friends, I went to moms favorite place “the casino,” and I gambled.

Mom loved the slot machines and so that’s what I did. I was happy and definitely felt my mom with me, especially when I heard “ding ding ding.” Yes, I won, and I know that my mom playing with me. Mom, you are my favorite Birth-Day present.

I’ve never enjoyed celebrating my birthday, but was convinced to go to dinner this year. I walked out from the restaurant, and looked up to see the hospital where you passed away. Alone. Isolated in a room at the beginning of the pandemic. Three years later, society has forgotten, but I have not.

A new year, a new variant, and does anyone even care anymore?

It’s been almost three years since my husband passed from Covid and this virus still rages on. Will we ever find peace from this nightmare? My small peace has been the Covid spouses friends that I found on Facebook. They’ve become my new family.

I wish Mike could have met them.

As 2023 approaches, I think of all us who lost someone to Covid. So many like me will be going into our third year without our loved ones beside us. We survived the holidays with a hole in our hearts and a sadness they will never go away. But I want to wish all peace for the new year.