Making your voicemail … My ringtone … I just called to say I”Love you’ … “talk to you later shuggalove” … bye … You always sang with all your heart and soul.

When I was ten years old I received the most wondrous Christmas gift from my brother Johnny. It was a basketball and I was ecstatic. Even better was that he told me that I could play basketball with his friends–which was most unusual back then.

This was before the Title 1X law was enacted that included gender equality in sports. Johnny was way ahead of his time. We played many basketball games together with his male friends. I was a tomboy and was allowed to be one. Johnny was very athletic and loved sports. He was inclusive which taught me a very important early life lesson.

Thank you, Johnny.

My very elderly mother now resides in an Assisted Living Facility. She used to live with my brother Johnny who was her caregiver. I recently placed a small Christmas tree with white lights in her efficiency. My mom loved the tree but wanted to know why the tree did not have angels. She remembered that every year her son Johnny surrounded her Christmas tree with angel ornaments.

This is the third Christmas since my mother lost her son to Covid. She misses him terribly as they were so close. Understandably, her pain is worse than mine and I do my best to comfort her, sharing our memories of Johnny .

Our German-born grandmother lived with my brother Johnny and me on Long Island since we were born. She was a young widow and my mother an only child. “Nana” had owned a German restaurant and bakery and was an excellent cook and baker. She taught us German when we were very young.

Starting months before Christmas we all baked so many holiday cookies with our grandmother. We loved making Spitzbuben and Lebkuchen cookies. Spitzbuben are made from two layers of deliciously crumbly, buttery dough filled with red currant or raspberry jelly. In America these are called Linzer cookies. Our second favorite to make were Lebkuchen;: gingerbread cookies.

At Christmastime Johnny and I would bring tins of our cookies to neighbors and friends. They were always a big hit!

Today I made German gingerbread cookies and I felt Johnny was with me.
Auf Wiedersehen bis zum nächsten mal — Until we meet again in the future.
-Your sister, Marlene

I will never forget when John Lennon was murdered in NYC at his home at the Dakota. My husband Mike was so upset that this senseless murder could occur. He loved Lennon’s music, especially the song “So this is Christmas” that John sang.

When I hear that song, I remember Mike struggling with Lennon’s passing and now I struggle with Mike’s passing almost three years ago. So this is Christmas. And what have you done. Another year over. A new one to become.