Shortly before I joined the family Candace (at the time my wife to be) and I traveled to meet the family and “Ruby” and get acquainted. After several hours of getting to know everyone at a picnic in the park Candace asked what Ruby thought of me and her response was priceless but on point for her:

“He’s short, but at least he ain’t a Hoosier”

That acknowledgment told me everything. She was a straight shooter who would speak her mind and not be shy about it.

You will be missed and your memory will live on, “Hotrod Granny” —

We were running and playing chase or tag, I almost got him but he was too fast. We were running between our house and our next door neighbors. Our house still had the tree in front — I stopped but he kept going into the street towards the corner house.

Donovan was almost like a toddler. Then, he was 10 years old, he ran back towards our house chasing two small dog — one of them was Carlos. The dogs ran up to our house then Donovan ran back towards the corner house to chase his kindergarten principal. The principal ran towards their backyard and Donovan went through the house to the back yard and I saw Donovan through the gate door that was open and he leaned towards the principal, who I couldn’t see but was behind the wall, like he was saying ‘caught you’ then he stood there and looked at me from across the street.

He had a smile/smirk on his face. He was an adult. I saw him from far away then it was like I got a close up of his face but I was still standing by our house by the tree. He was wearing a long sleeve white shirt and tan pants. He wasn’t breathing hard after all that running. His hair was medium length and kinda messy.

Then the phone rang and woke me up. I laid there and it didn’t come to me right away who it was but then I closed my eyes and saw Donovan’s face again and knew it was him. He was showing me that he is ok and the look on his face said he loves me. There was no sound in my dream — just the feeling of fun, playing with him. The tree and grass had color but everything else was the color of the painting of me and Donovan that is in the living room (creams & gray).

Please come back to me.

After a year and a half, I saw my friend. The friend who almost didn’t make it to the hospital. Somehow, we didn’t lose you that day.

I hugged you so tightly, I think I hurt you a bit. “We made it!” sobbing with gratitude.

And as you drove away, I got the word: my other friend didn’t. The joy boiled over into grief. I did what you would have done: loved everyone a little harder that day.

Before you left, you had a trial run. You came back to let us know where you were going, that it was with us. All three of us out at the lake. Just fishing. Not a care in the world. No scrambling for meds to patch together what COVID tore apart. And without that, I would forever ask myself why I didn’t do more.

But now, you’re waiting. Whole and perfect, kind and empathetic. And we will fight even harder so your story isn’t repeated.

I’ll cry every day though …

This story is an ongoing collective remembrance. Please send us your stories to add to the narrative. You can use this website’s contact and/or story submission form.
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Thoughts from the March to Remember, 8.6.2022: A story-in-progress

Why did we walk? To remember, to honor, to share our stories …

From: Debra McCoskey Reisert:

I walked to honor my brother, Bobby McCoskey. If he’d been walking beside me, he would have been smiling, wearing his favorite tie-dye sweatshirt, and making new friends. He loved everyone.

From Alissa Femia:

We walked to remember our dad and grandpa, Michael Perna. His smile lit up any room and he made everyone feel welcomed. He loved his family and the Jersey Shore. We miss him every day.
XO Rachel, Andrea & Alissa

From Savina Maraj:

I walked in honor of my father, Indarjit Benny Maraj, who passed on April 29, 2020 from Covid complications. He was a man full of life, love and fun. My father was such a huge part of my life along with my brother and my mom. One of his favorite things to do in the summer was go to the beach. I treasure a photograph I have of him at his last beach visit.
I live in Queens, NY and I have two brothers named Neil and Samir Maraj. My mother is Lillian Maraj. And our dog is Snoopy.

From Ed Koenig:

I walked to honor my partner Jody and all the spouses of our Monday Spouses Zoom group. It’s a joy to finally meet everyone in person and remember our loved ones.

From Lina Calvache:

I walked in honor of my husband, Edgar Calvache Sr.
Next year would have been our 50th wedding Anniversary.
I love and miss you Edgar.