Picking out our Christmas tree was always stressful. Mike would pick out a 10-foot tree for a house with 8-foot ceilings. Then we had to wait three days for the branches to fall before the lights could go on. Well, with 5 daughters there was very little patience for this. But it was actually a joyful time because there was a lot of laughs, singing Mariah Carey Christmas songs and teasing my husband because we had to tie up the tree so it wouldn’t fall down.

Such happy memories that we will never be able to duplicate. Just not the same getting the Christmas tree anymore …

I kept your rosy lips chapstick just to taste your DNA when I miss you most…

Mike Martin, my late husband, came of age (18) during the Selective Service draft for the Viet Nam war. Mike told me he’d drawn a low number, so he’d made the decision to enlist– preferring to be proactive rather than anxiously waiting to learn when or if his number would be called up.

Mike was always a go-getter, working since he was 16 and leaving home and supporting himself at a relatively young age. He’d attended high school near Holloman Air Force Base (and was a champion pole vaulter in H.S. of all things!) Given his familiarity with that military branch living in La Luz, NM just down the road from Alamogordo, home of Holloman, he chose to enlist in the Air Force.

Mike didn’t care for risk, ambiguity, uncertainty. He preferred having control over the direction of his life so he appreciated that, by enlisting, he would have some input into the type of training he’d receive and what areas he could specialize in. He chose several medical specialties. He learned everything from phlebotomy and autopsy to pathology and medical laboratory work. He also utilized those skills at the University of Arizona Hospital and when he lived in San Antonio. Mike’s last civilian job in the medical field was at Marion Merrell Dow in Kansas City. He held that position until shortly before we met each other in college. He’d gone back to school to future-proof his employability by earning a degree in computer programming because he saw that more and more of the work he did in clean rooms and other laboratory settings was becoming computerized.

While in the Air Force, he told me that he was grateful he wasn’t sent overseas as so many men of that era were, including his very best lifelong friend, Bear, who also grew up in La Luz, NM. Bear was sent to Germany. Mike was stationed stateside with duty assignments at Davis-Monthan AFB (Arizona), McChord AFB (Washington), and training at Keesler AFB in Biloxi, MS. After his regular AF enlistment, he joined the Texas Air National Guard (Kelly AFB) and the Arizona National Guard (Tucson). Mike served a total of 10 years, 9 months.

I hope that posting these memories will honor Mike today, on Veterans Day, by sharing a little bit about his years of service to our country.

P.S. Remember Mike’s friend, Bear? Bear tells the story that when he was discharged and came home from Germany back to La Luz, NM, Mike’s house (where his parents used to live) was the very first place he went. He was so sad to learn that his best buddy wasn’t there, not realizing that Mike was still serving in the Air Force. Years and years later, Mike and I went to La Luz. Mike pointed to a small property and said, “that’s where Bear used to live”. Mike talked about Bear quite often, so I knew who he meant. Between that trip and the following year, out of the blue, they found each other on Facebook. We drove back to La Luz that next year, and lo and behold, that same house Mike had pointed out to me before was exactly where Bear was still living!

Spring of 2020, Bear and his significant other, Sharon, were in their camper visiting Bear’s sister in Arizona when they heard the news announcing the lockdowns. Immediately, Sharon said, “we have to go to Mike and Kim’s”. They pulled that camper from Arizona to Missouri, finding no place to even grab a bit to eat en route because of the lockdowns, arriving in March 2020.

Bear lived here, on our property, until October 2020. It was such a blessing! Mike and Bear relished that time with each other, playing guitars and singing together in the evenings, sharing memories, and telling stories. And Bear felt useful, too, lending a hand on the big construction project Mike was doing to build a duplex for our adult kids.

Bear is a little older than Mike and looked a bit frailer as he aged, so my thought at the time was how wonderful that Mike could spend so much time with Bear before Bear would die someday back in New Mexico. Little did we know, less than a year after Bear’s camper was pulled back to La Luz, Mike was the one who died. Because of COVID, that awful Delta variant that took Mike’s life. Both men served our nation, and both were brothers, the best of friends. I am grateful that the two of them were reunited after many years of thinking of each other but not knowing where they were, and I am especially grateful that they were able to share those 8 months, together, during the first year of the pandemic.

Growing up, Disney was a way of life in our household. I grew up going every year, especially during the week of Halloween. My Dad gave me the best memories there. To this day, I still remember riding the monorail with him, our late night bakery visits while staying at the Contemporary Resort and pulling his hand as we went on adventures searching for every pressed penny and pin kiosk there. Every trip was unique and fostered a forever love for all things Disney. These were the best memories and experiences of my life. They left a lasting impression on my heart. These trips were so exquisite, so priceless and so special to me. So much so, I wanted to carry on the tradition with my Husband and Son.

We decided to set forth on our Disney adventure the week of Halloween. We had not been since Pop passed away so I knew this fun adventure would be unique and bittersweet for me. When you spend your entire life being used to sharing these experiences with your hero and then have that ripped from you suddenly, there is bound to be a rollercoaster of emotions flooding your brain. Sure enough, the day came to ride Space Mountain over and over again at the Magic Kingdom. Recovered memories weighed on me heavily. Pop and I rode this on Halloween nearly 14 times in a row during Mickey’s Not So Scary Halloween Party. As my Husband, Son, and myself entered the first lighted tunnel of this ride, we all threw up our hands and said “Hey Pop, this one’s for you”. Then as the ride came to an end, tears streamed down my face. That was when it hit me I didn’t have my Dad here to share this with. I couldn’t call him to hear the excitement in his voice when he heard of our fun adventures at the park.

Our next day was to head to Epcot and join Figment in the land of imagination. This ride was so fun for me as a child and still fun for me as an adult. As Figment is singing all about sparking your imagination, I’m watching him pop up covered in rainbows and thinking of Pop. He loved this ride because he would always say with a big grin “Ah, to feel the air conditioner and be able to sit down for a few minutes not being blinded by the Orlando heat is simply amazing.” The human brain fascinates me. It’s amazing to me how being on certain rides brought back so many fun memories.

Unexpected plot twist: Upon joining the virtual que to ride Epcot’s newest ride “Guardian’s of the Galaxy: Cosmic Rewind,” there was a 4.5 hour wait. Since I had never experienced this ride before, and I have an autonomic nervous system disorder called Dysautonomia, I knew I needed to do research. The only information I could find revealed a family of four sitting on this rollercoaster moving forward slowly and smiling. We asked a park employee who compared it to Space Mountain which all three of us absolutely love.

What they didn’t inform riders of was the fact that this rollercoaster was an Omni coaster. Simply put, this ride is one that is in the dark, goes incredibly fast backwards and spins you 360 degrees with high drops and fast spins for one minute. AKA a total nightmare for someone with Dysautonomia. My husband is so sweet, he said he knew when our car turned around, that we were going to go backwards and I was going to be in trouble. He was correct. As I cried and screamed out loud to stop the ride, the music blaring was too loud that no one could hear me. By the time the ride came to an end, I was trembling, my head was spinning, and I had temporarily lost my hearing. Immediately I bolted out to try to find the exit and a restroom. As soon as I found it, I began vomiting. I was shaking, freezing cold, clammy hands. I was in my own personal nightmare. As I slid down the stall’s restroom wall sobbing uncontrollably, I couldn’t understand why at that very moment, my Dad’s face popped into my head.

It’s as if he was there with me holding my hand, guiding me to safety, letting me know I was stronger than I give myself credit for. I imagined what advice he would have given me at that very moment. He would tell me not to let one bad experience ruin my trip. He would want me to be happy and to continue hunting for pressed pennies and pins with my family. It was then that my whole life flashed in front of my eyes and it hit me: My Dad my whole life was preparing me for his loss one day. He wanted me to have all of these amazing Disney memories so that I could remember and cherish the times I did have with him, rather than focus on the times I would never get to have with him. My Disney adventure of finding my Dad, healing my heart, and making new magical memories with my own family proved to be a success. To which I will say “Thanks Pop, this one’s for you”.

Gerry started as a dream, long before his birth,
Created by the Lord above he brought both love and mirth.
He’ll always be a son who cared, a brother who stood true,

An uncle, friend and in-law who was always there for you.
He was protector to his sons, so proud as he stood by

And watched them play and learn and grow, both apples of his eye.
As a Grandpa Gerry soared, with Cam and Dax he’d play,

He’d make up games and fix their toys and kiss their tears away.
Gerry’s home, his pride and joy, a yellow house so grand,

Was built by vision, faith and toil by his strong, callused hands.
What man could do all that you ask, how could one be so right?

I know beyond a doubt because he was my shining knight.
He left too soon, we’ll never know the reason or the rhyme,

Gerry gave so much, you see, but got too little time.
In days to come, when thinking of him causes tears to stream,

We must remember he’s the man who started as a dream.