My brother Johnny caught Covid-19 in a nursing home early in the Pandemic. The day they had originally expected him to be discharged from rehab and go home, he wound up on a ventilator instead.

A week later, a critical care physician called to tell me that his major organs had shut down. My mother and I made the heart-wrenching decision to take my 65-year-old brother off life support. Luckily I knew this would have been his decision in this horrific and hopeless situation since he had a living will. Nevertheless, we were still traumatized and haunted by being the agent of demise for a loved one we so dearly cared for.

My mother and I never stop talking about Johnny and we will never forget him. We share with each other all our memories. Eventually I hope my mother and I will get to the place where we can find peace and more joy instead of so much sorrow. I also hope that, instead of dwelling on the very difficult way Johnny died, we can enjoy more of the wonderful memories of how he lived.