Over the last year and a half I had the chance to really get to know my Grandmother, Roberta. It’s amazing how having a grocery delivery service can bring two people together.

We would spend hours on the phone ordering from Walmart and Aldi’s, mixing in stories from her life and mine. I learned about her younger years before she was married, the places she loved to visit, the people in her life that made a huge impact, amongst other tidbits of information that would flood her mind in our conversations.

She liked to joke that she has two modes, serious and delirious … I think she just liked having fun and being a goofball. I got to see that in action when I was able to spend three days with her just two months ago. Time I’m so grateful to have had with her.

She loved the fact that I was such a thrifter and bargain shopper like her, and could not get over how food prices had risen. That didn’t stop her from getting her apple fritters and donuts though!

She had a heart of gold, if she got any unexpected finances she made sure to donate them. She recently asked me to help send bikes to children at St. Joseph’s Indian School, and had so much fun picking out the colors and imagining the kids riding bikes.

She was a stubborn and exhausting but also kind and giving. I recognize those same traits in me, so know there are parts of her living on in those she left behind. I’d say “rest in peace” but Grandma would be happier making some trouble.

For that and so much more … I love you.

Mom washed my hair in the kitchen sink when I was a little girl. She used Avon shampoo and it smelled so good. Then she convinced me to sit outside to let the sun dry it.
Looking back, I am fairly sure she wanted a break from me. She had 6 kids and probably looked for any opportunity to get a few minutes of peace.

Shortly before I joined the family Candace (at the time my wife to be) and I traveled to meet the family and “Ruby” and get acquainted. After several hours of getting to know everyone at a picnic in the park Candace asked what Ruby thought of me and her response was priceless but on point for her:

“He’s short, but at least he ain’t a Hoosier”

That acknowledgment told me everything. She was a straight shooter who would speak her mind and not be shy about it.

You will be missed and your memory will live on, “Hotrod Granny” —

We were running and playing chase or tag, I almost got him but he was too fast. We were running between our house and our next door neighbors. Our house still had the tree in front — I stopped but he kept going into the street towards the corner house.

Donovan was almost like a toddler. Then, he was 10 years old, he ran back towards our house chasing two small dog — one of them was Carlos. The dogs ran up to our house then Donovan ran back towards the corner house to chase his kindergarten principal. The principal ran towards their backyard and Donovan went through the house to the back yard and I saw Donovan through the gate door that was open and he leaned towards the principal, who I couldn’t see but was behind the wall, like he was saying ‘caught you’ then he stood there and looked at me from across the street.

He had a smile/smirk on his face. He was an adult. I saw him from far away then it was like I got a close up of his face but I was still standing by our house by the tree. He was wearing a long sleeve white shirt and tan pants. He wasn’t breathing hard after all that running. His hair was medium length and kinda messy.

Then the phone rang and woke me up. I laid there and it didn’t come to me right away who it was but then I closed my eyes and saw Donovan’s face again and knew it was him. He was showing me that he is ok and the look on his face said he loves me. There was no sound in my dream — just the feeling of fun, playing with him. The tree and grass had color but everything else was the color of the painting of me and Donovan that is in the living room (creams & gray).

Please come back to me.

After a year and a half, I saw my friend. The friend who almost didn’t make it to the hospital. Somehow, we didn’t lose you that day.

I hugged you so tightly, I think I hurt you a bit. “We made it!” sobbing with gratitude.

And as you drove away, I got the word: my other friend didn’t. The joy boiled over into grief. I did what you would have done: loved everyone a little harder that day.