The human mind has always been so fascinating to me. Memories and what triggers them is of particular interest to me especially since losing my Dad.

We spent our summers at the beach, in Disney World riding Space Mountain over and over again, cruises all over the world, and swimming. My Dad always called me his water baby. One of my favorite memories was at our beach house going swimming at night. I remember the bright orange floaties my Dad put on my arms. I remember the way the ocean smelled as he held my hand walking down to the pool. I remember his laughter as I splashed water on him as he glided me across the water on his back. Those nights were perfect, the most beautiful memories of my time with him. He would always say “See if you can swim to the light at the end of the pool baby girl”.

I loved that, there was something special about those nights. It wasn’t even about the pool or getting to stay up late and swim at night. It was about those moments I got with him, his time, just Father and Daughter moments. I wish I could get them back, I wish I had more time with him but the truth is, there would never be enough time for me with him because I always wanted more. To have a Dad that incredible, loving, funny, special –to say he gave me the world by giving me his time is an understatement.

When I lost my Dad, it felt like I lost a part of myself. I felt this huge hole in my heart that could never be filled. I felt as if I was going to die from a broken heart. I think I compartmentalized those memories. Tucked them far away in my mind to keep them safe and to keep my heart safe from feeling the pain of his absence.

At the time, we had just moved into a home that had the same shape pool and diving board I grew up with in my back yard. Last year, I really didn’t want to swim much or go outside to see the beautiful tropical garden my Husband created for me. Again, the human mind has always fascinated me, the great length it goes to to protect my heart amazes me.

Fast forward a year later and I don’t know if it’s because I saw two red cardinals flying through the garden sprinklers or if my mind had convinced my heart it was time but I decided to jump in. Jumping in was the easy part. Swimming under water to the light at the end of the pool was the hard part.

The more I did it, the more I discovered that I could see my Dad while I was swimming under water. All of my most special childhood memories came flooding back to me all at once. The night time swims, my orange floaties, the sound of his voice as he told me to swim to the light at the end of the pool, riding on his back in the water, vanilla ice cream cones at midnight. Now, every off day I have during the Summer, you can always find me swimming under water to the light at the end of the pool. The human mind, heart and memories will always find a way to keep you connected to your loved ones.

Although it wasn’t the safest thing to do, Dad was a wild card when it came to the 4th of July. He loved to make balloons filled with Acetylene, tie them to balloons filled with helium, and send them up in the air with a fuse.

They exploded into the loudest BOOM! They would light up the sky and he had such a blast doing it. Dad was always enjoying life and full of good times. He had a way of making everyone around him laugh.

Greatest Dad & Grandpa ever! Truly missed every single day.

Who would have ever thought that being stung by a red wasp several times could possibly trigger detailed memories of your childhood? One week ago, while out in the pool, I was stung 6 times by what my husband deemed “a National Geographic sized red wasp.” He immediately scooped me up from the water as I cried and my throat felt a little funny. My husband gave me the sweetest, most loving hug as tears continued to stream down my face. And at that very moment, when I felt his arms wrap around me, my face leaned in towards his chest, the sun glistening down on us, my thoughts immediately went back to my Dad.

Pop was the best dad any daughter could have ever dreamed of. It didn’t matter if it was 5 am or midnight, if I needed him, he was always right there for me. I remember him telling me the story of the very first time I was stung by a wasp at a year old. He told me he was getting ready to go to work and when he walked outside to get into his truck, I ran outside after him because I didn’t want him to go. I was wearing a pink fuzzy onesie with white plastic feet on the bottom the first time I felt the burning pain of a wasp sting. He scooped me up into his arms, hugged me tight, wiping away my tears as he carried me back inside and got me an ice pack and a Cherry popsicle.

He always told me the reason I got stung so much was because my heart was so big and I was so sweet. I can still see every detail of his face, his smile each and every time he told me that story. Fast forward to age 17, the night of my Senior Prom when somehow a red wasp got inside our house and stung me three times on my back. I was absolutely mortified because my prom dress was an open back dress and I panicked because my date would be arriving in an hour. I remember crying because it hurt so bad and the first person I screamed out for was my dad. Once again, Pop was magic. He gave me the biggest hug and there were his arms around me as I cried into his chest.

Fast forward to all these years later — to being stung a week ago and that’s when the worst pain hit me like a ton of bricks. This was the very first red wasp sting that Pop wasn’t here for. Talk about a crushing, heart breaking pain that didn’t stop once the physical pain from the stings ended. I remember instinctively wanting to pick up my phone and call him to come over. Because it didn’t matter where he was or what he was doing, if I ever needed him, he would stop what he was doing and be right there for me, always. For every daughter out there who has lost their father to COVID, I know you understand this pain I speak of. You see that wasp sting is just a reminder to me that Pop will never be able to comfort me, to wrap his arms around me when I have a bad day. Or tell me silly jokes until I laugh even when I may not necessarily feel like laughing. That’s just the kind of dad he was.

We’ve reached 1 million deaths and Pop was my one in a million and COVID made him one in the million. I urge every daughter out there who still has their dad to go give him the biggest hug, call him and tell him you love him now, do it often, capture the little moments, make funny memories because I can promise you once he’s gone, it’s all those moments that will matter the most to you later on. Take it from me, the girl known as the Memory Keepers Daughter, that something as awful as getting stung by a National Geographic size red wasp can trigger some of the most loving, genuine details of your life. There’s one thing COVID will never be able to steal from me — all of my memories with Pop. And Pop, I know you’re up there shining down and smiling at me. I feel it in my heart every morning as I open my eyes. I will always love you and carry you in my heart.

My husband Alberto died on 1/14/21 just two weeks shy of his 48th birthday. (Also my late daddy’s birthday) We were married on 10/19/19, the best day ever! You could say I waited a long time to finally find the love of my life.

I didn’t date as a single mom for years. He was well worth the wait. He was my answered prayer to finding my one true love! When he was taken by Covid I felt so ripped off. We had so many plans left undone.

Although I feel our time was cut short the love he left has filled my heart and soul for a life time. What would I want you to know about my Berto? He was an amazing dad to three, and a stepdad He was a son, brother and uncle and a papa. He loved his job as a long haul trucker. He would send me pictures of beautiful places that he discovered when on the road. He was a best friend. He was wise and funny. He loved to eat good food. I miss his bear hugs, his sarcasm, his wisdom. I miss him calling me beautiful. I just miss him.

One other thing you should know; I can’t wait until the day we will be reunited again in Heaven. Until that day.

My dad was the most honest, helpful, heart of gold person I have ever known.

We talked often, but he always finished his emails with:
Often on my mind always in my heart!