Sometimes I feel like I am drowning. Sometimes I feel like I sabotage my mental health. Donovan, saying I miss you is not enough. Never enough. I have a Donovan size hole in my soul, heart & mind. I listen to the recordings I have of your voice and break into a million pieces all over again. I look at the pictures I have in my phone — letting them play as a video. Scream and cry and sob. This is still so unbelievable to me babyboy. This can’t be.

I am forever in love with you. I LOVE YOU.

(I know how you would feel about these posts. I guess this is one way to get it out to the universe that I am not ok with this. I am not ok.)

I love you Donovan-
Mom xoxox