My life has been split in two parts–things that happened before my brother Johnny died, and things that happened after he passed from Covid in April 2020. There is no one I was so close and connected to for so long–66 years. We gave each other so much unconditional love, support, understanding, and kindness. I feel like I lost a huge part of myself and I am frequently so saddened by his loss. I am still trying to learn to live with such a significant loss.

No other losses in my life have made me totally aware of my mortality and finite time here on earth. I believe sibling loss tends to make one strive to make each day more valuable and meaningful for ourselves and for others. I suspect this is universal with most losses. I know I will heal when I continue to remember Johnny with more love than pain and find a meaningful way to honor his life.

One way I found is telling my 4-year-old granddaughter all about the great uncle she never met and I hope she grows up to be a Mensch like him. I also love to tell her how we played baseball together and went to so many Mets games together at the Polo Grounds and Shea Stadium. That was some of our happiest times sharing our love of baseball.